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You'll Feel Better If You Leave The House

Some days, when I'm home alone, it's difficult to know what to do with myself. Or, rather, it's difficult to get myself inspired to do much of anything.

This behavior is the exact opposite of days off when I have lists of tasks to accomplish: meal planning and grocery shopping and cleaning, maybe going to the post office or the library.

On days like today, nothing feels right. Everything feels forced. All I want to do is drink coffee. I could go to the downtown art museum, a free yoga class, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, the historical society, or I could see a movie. To be a bit simpler and more pragmatic, I could pick up some deodorant (I ran out) and quarters from the bank to do laundry.

All of these outings seem so trying to do alone, to pick myself up and pull on a skirt, leave the apartment, get on the bus, walk around in the rain. I want to do these things, but the fire isn't just ignited. I'm afraid, somehow. I feel heavy and as if human inter…

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